Saturday, August 28, 2010

Top 10 List of Parenting Teens

So I'm told I need to blog on something totally pointless by my teenage daughter. Okay, prodigy of mine I will. What the hell is up with teenagers these days. Yes, I really did just say that. I'm ready to stand in my yard with a rake and yell at those pesky teens to get off my lawn.

So here are some things I've noticed through all my parenting years.

10. They really have no idea what they are doing when they are not on a phone texting, instant messaging, blaring music or saying idiotic phrases like 'that's gay, whatever, like, or literally.

9. A high pitched ditsy voice has replaced 'valley girl speak'.

8. It's all the fashion rage to show muffin tops and dinner rolls off.

7. 'Reading' apparently is only for text messages or instant messages.

6. A teenager is always too tired to hold a dishcloth but never too tired to hold a phone.

5. Once upon a time if a person touched a hot stove they would say, 'Ow!' and not touch it again. Now apparently teens will touch that stove until they require skin grafts and then decide to burn the skin grafts off.

4. They think you know absolutely nothing and think you have no idea what is going on UNLESS you are watching a movie you have never seen and then it's, 'Why did he say that, what did that mean, where did that come from?", etc. etc.

3. They say things to each other like 'luv ya, miss ya' several times a day to each other one day and then hate them to next. Yes, that's love.

2. They can't spell worth a crap because they are so used to, 'OMG, LMAO, POS.

1. They think you don't know that when they get that high pitched, sweet little voice that you don't know what is coming next, a 'can I' question.

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